There has been this small voice in the back of my head recently that seemed to keep telling me that I should update this blog...but holy cow, I had no idea it has been since JANUARY since I last checked in! How come it seems that when life is going good it's more difficult to keep up with blogs/journals/reading/ and often, neccessities of life? I suppose it's because we sometimes just want to revel in the greatness, the proverbial "mountain", of life at it's current time; get swept up in the joy after so much sorrow, that writing down our thoughts seem insignificant. Or, maybe, I've simply been instiled with the notion that bragging is not becoming...but then, neither is bitching...so, I guess you should just be surprised that you're hearing from me at all (for the 10 of you that read my blog)!.
My life has changed so drastically since last we talked that my head is spining with where to start...In the last 8 1/2 months I have moved in with my guy (he asked me by wrapping his house key up and putting it in my stocking for Christmas)...aka...moving out of my mothers house, adopted a dog that showed up on our porch on Valentine's Day (we, of course, named her "Valentine".duh), adopted a kitten we named Simon (that also showed up on our porch...Matthew now lovingly refers to me as 'Dr. Dolittle' or 'St. Francis os Assissi'-for all of you Catholics out there), went to London and Paris for 10 days, got engaged on the Eiffel Tower, and GOT MARRIED a month ago! Whew! I'm exhausted just thinking about the whirlwind that has become my life.
I now live 15 minutes from mom (a much better distance than simply right down the hall) and believe me when I say that there are moments that I think "HOLY CRAP I got stuck in Fresno!". But then, admittedly, my next thought is "I would live in a tent on the tundra if it meant I could be with Matthew, so Fresno ain't so bad, really". Ok...who am I kidding?? We would have a long distance relationship if the tundra was any sort of reality, but you get what I'm sayin'.
So, now that my love life is taken care of and I'm now a "Mrs." again (...geez, that sounds weird). I'm still getting used to the title, and at times still battling with the demons that seem to surface and instill a level of fear and anxiety that looks and feels an awful lot like "abandonment", but for the most part I'm simply grateful. I'm now completely submersed in my company (United Learning Foundation, Inc.). It's a brand new school year and I'm excited to see all of the exciting things that are coming my way. The message of U.L.F.is simple...I go into schools and corporations and use my personal story to teach about dis/ABILITY awareness and sensitivity...but it's one that needs to be heard. I know without a doubt that this is the direction that life has been pushing me in for a long time. This is my calling. This is what I was put on this earth to do. My talents of public/ inspirational speaking is what I am supposed to be using every single day to change even a little part of this world. For that I know is true. Plus, I know too much of what I am missing by not being my own boss. I can't play by another corporations rules, I've tried and I don't like it. I want to live life on MY own terms, not by some time clock (and yes...I'm stomping my feet as I write this).
Here's what I have learned about my mother through this new journey of mine called U.L.F.....my mom comes from the school of thought that a steady paycheck is what life is all about and you do your "calling" on your own, spare time. MY school of thought is this...I will DIE a slow death if I don't create a life surrounded by my purpose and my reason for being...and the money will follow. Two completely different schools of thought, neither one better or worse than the other, they just won't ever see eye-to-eye.
One year ago today I was still in San Diego, packing up, saying my good-bye's, and putting a period on that chapter in my life. I had no idea what was awaiting me and I'm glad that I didn't. Life Lesson for today....sometimes all that is needed is a little change-up in the energy of your life. Do something different, take a chance, push yourself through your fears for the amazingness that is, inevitably, waiting for you on the other side. Whether it's a job change, a move to a different city...or country!, blessing and saying good-bye to a toxic relationship that hinders you more than helps you, and keep yourself OPEN to allowing it all to come your way.
Ps....Oprah also aired her last show back in May (*tear). NOW what do I do with my "Hour with Oprah" now that there is no more "Hour with Oprah"?!? Ugh. Guess I'll have to get to work at making a meeting with Oprah happen. Am I the only one who believes that we could be best of friends if only she knew I existed? I, of course, would never assume Gayle's place, but a close second on the "Best Friends" list would do just fine for me. It's already on my Vision Board. Hey, don't judge me!
